we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
