my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
