I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Randomize
