sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize