Already got asked if we're dating
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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