3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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