Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
he laminated a picture of his dick.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
Randomize
