I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
A+ Viking dick
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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