Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Randomize
