The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
