Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
