is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
she peed on how many people?
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
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