mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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