so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Randomize
