nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Damn victory sex feels great
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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