Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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