Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize