Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
