What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
and you said cock pushups were impossible
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
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