So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
