He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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