Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
