I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
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