I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Randomize
