His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize