i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
