pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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