I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Randomize
