I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Randomize
