Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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