What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
