ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
