Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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