I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
