Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
i think i just naturally attract stoners
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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