Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Randomize
