You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
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