I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Randomize
