last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Randomize
