This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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