at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
Randomize
