The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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