Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Randomize
