I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
Fine. I'll sleep in my office
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
I have fence marks all over my body
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
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