Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
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