took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
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