i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
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