hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
