I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
