There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
