3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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