Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Randomize
