I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
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