You're a womanizer and a bitch.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
All the doctor said was why
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Randomize
