I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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