i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Found your dick twin last night
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize