So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Randomize
