So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Randomize
