just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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