absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Randomize
