That's intense
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Randomize
