where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
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