I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
