We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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