Pappa wants mamma naked
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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