He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Randomize
