I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
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