Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize
