im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
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