I think scott just propositioned me for sex
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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